Grace that covers

This was the best picture I could get of the boys before the FIRST swim lesson! Having only taken them into a pool three times this summer, unfortunately, the swim lesson was a grueling 30 minutes for both their instructor and myself. I did a lot of reiterating the importance of obedience and safety on the way home as I witnessed the boys manipulate and disobey their instructor as they do Ryan at home. This poor girl couldn't have been over 16 years old and I think we were all relieved that the class was so small, because it turned into a game of herding cats. Cringeworthy.

Watching the boys rebel stirred up many deep insecurities inside me, more so than initially expected. It was so upsetting watching our daily frustrations and inconsistencies in marriage and parenting reflect in another area of life. Something as simple as swimming lessons wasn't so simple. Yet another glaring example of how hard life with a brain tumor really is, and how much it impacts the children involved. It's not simple. There is no one answer. There is no pre-written formula. There is no operating manual. And trust me, I wish there was. Days like this make me feel like I'm in over my head, specifically with this phase of life. "Doing everything I can" rarely feels like enough, and more often feels like hitting my head against a wall.

Upon arriving home, I spent some much needed time in the word. Here are some simple reminders and conclusions I came to.

"...for all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God..." Romans 3:23

Only Jesus Christ holds the standard of perfection. I have failed and will continue to fall short every day as a follower of Christ, as a wife, and as a mother.

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians  12:9

His grace covers my failures, therefore, I can rejoice that my life is being made a testimony to God's righteousness, mercy, and provision.

"I thank Him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because He judged me faithful, appointing me to His service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display His perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:12-16

God's grace not only covers my failures, but it abounds in them so that others may see that His guiding hand can move mountains in a broken life. I'm seeing this covering grace extending especially to our children in beautiful ways. Their grasp of who Christ is only grows!

The deeper we venture, the louder our pain booms and my need for Him grows. So in spite of a bad day, I'm hopeful that the boys two timeouts at the class, our long conversation on the car ride home, these swim lessons becoming a weekly routine, rewards for good behavior, and continued attempts towards consistency at home that these boys will rise to what I have seen and known they are capable of. I'm hopeful that others will experience this side of my children and the light of Jesus inside them that I'm honored and privileged to witness every day. I'm hopeful that His grace will continue to increase in our inadequacies, and that same grace will spur us to step further into the unknowns of this journey with deeper faith and courage. It's more clear than ever that ALL of me needs ALL of who Christ is.

I would like thank those of you that have so beautifully exemplified the Lord's grace and patience to us at a time we need it most. You have tended to our pain in ways you aren't fully aware and we thank you for your receptivity to the wonderfully significant role the Lord has placed you in. Thank you for choosing to see our hearts, and for treating us with love and tenderness despite our failures. You have spoken volumes of His love and goodness into our lives. Daily we are reminded that the Lord, who breathed the beauty of the universe into existence, holds us and is for us first and foremost. We are confident that the Lord will continue to fill in the voids with Himself and with faithful servants such as yourselves.

Copyright 2015 ->Renee Sunberg