Mommyhood Unrefined

"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."--Proverbs 4:23 Someone gave me an incredibly wise piece of advice recently: Limit your voices. There is fine line between sharing too much and unintentionally exposing yourself to ridicule you don't need, or becoming a hermit, tucked away and isolated. In the past, I've been the hermit, but I was forced to make the change when our lives took a turn. I have not explored either of those extremes since and God's giving me the balance to walk a straight line...more lessons in this to come I'm sure. I've discovered the hurts and vices of other people will still be there, despite my choices. God can work through our testimony, but belligerence still exists in pain whether it's intentional or not. It's part of the package. Many believe they have the answer to the problem regardless. I'm finding that I can carefully pick and choose who is in my life at this moment in time,

I just returned from a week long visit to Missouri for my cousin's high school graduation. It was a very mixed visit and there has been much to process since my return. Before we left my anxiety grew. I was well aware of my need for a break and to catch up on rest, but I was terribly worried about Ryan because of the state he was in. His exhaustion was a concern prior to his grand mal seizure in December and I've been seeing the same exhaustion these days. The entire week we were in Missouri I waited for a phone call. Turns out I desperately needed the break, much more than I initially thought, but at the same time I feared our world would fall apart while we were gone. Why do I fear the worst will happen when I partake in a need? I find this proof that this is too much responsibility to have. I am, in fact, only human and I forget to forgive myself. We can't climb a cliff without expecting a few slips and technical difficulties along the way. Not everyone is going to fin