Mommyhood Unrefined

"Behold, sons are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5 I grew up in a home with brothers...and I LOVED it! I never wished for anything different. I always felt protected, unique (being the only girl), valued, and upfront and center for some of the most challenging battles that young men face. Eric took his role of "oldest sibling" seriously. It was never a dictatorship to him. He wore it as a badge of honor and knew from a very young age that his role required self-sacrificing courage. If we were hurting or in crisis, we knew he would be there ready to stand up on our behalf. Despite having occasionally played the devil's advocate, we all knew he was a steady rock and that his foundation was firm. His knowledge and grasp of God

"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on high places."  Habakkuk 3:17-19 I came across this video last Sunday and it had me in a puddle of tears on the kitchen table. The metaphor of nature is a beautiful one. Just as we accept the good and rest we have been given from the Lord, we must also accept the adversity and the barrenness that is necessary for our roots to reach deep in great thirst for our life source. These past couple weeks I've hurt. I've hurt bad. I've hurt for our sons. It hurts seeing their desperate thirst for constant affirmation and praise from Ryan. It hurts seeing them seek those needs from other men when Ryan